The only real self is the one that knows it's created:
Let's take the case that we are no one way. Sure, there are traits, qualities that naturally arise in us, impulses we've had our whole lives, ways of being that seem native to who we are - and yes! All of this exists fully and wholly. But the thing is, it's up to us to give power to the way of being. We might have very little control over the circumstances, we do have a say in how we respond to them - how we want to be in the face of something unpleasant. This is not easy work, but it is the work of life. When we can find our self expression in a journey of development like this, we are free.
Vive le high top - okay, so while external things don't define who we "are," admittedly, putting on the perfect pair of white hightops can have a girl "feeling like herself again" after too many months in a Not-It low cut. Find the things that make you feel at home like this, while continuing to recognize the above.
All hail the queen - Sade. Youtube blesses us with her full 1993 concert in San Diego (where she is wearing head-to-toe pink sequence, HELLO). DJ VACATIONS brings us the 2k18 version with their Sade remixes, and rumor has it that Kinfolk in BK has a monthly Sade night. She reins by way of elegance. To the tune of Cool girls (pun intended), put JAGA on your radar. She came through my Soundcloud via her mix with Chrysalism radio, and a few traded comments led to our mutual realization of shared interest in sustainable fashion and cool girls making good beats. Behold, the internet working for good.
Obsédée - with Karl Lagerfeld's short films. Remember Now remains an all-time favorite, with timely cameos by It Girl queens in all their 2010 glory: Freja, Abbey Lee, Elisa Sednaoui et al. It's a must watch if you haven't already, but a bonafide Do Nothing Friday Night resulted in a deep dive into Lagerfeld's other gems including a Keira Knightly appearance in Once Upon A Time - the best part about this is emphasis on little nuggets to taste, comment like "a men's tweed jacket was always good on a woman."
kind & friendly baristas, Paris, new fitness routines, sleeping with the windows open, dinner parties, catching up with old friends, keeping leather jackets as pets, long hair, Brooklyn lofts, new notebooks, having your attention on things that calm your mind.
SEEKING THE COOL AND THOUGHTFUL!
If you know somebody who you think embodies what it means to be Cool And Thoughtful, I'd love to connect with them! Upcoming newsletters will feature these lovely souls, so please feel free to introduce us: firstname.lastname@example.org
Deliberately practice - keeping your eyes and ears open. How easy it is to assume that what was once interesting to us will always us that sense of energy! Believe it or not, everything changes (behold the nature of life), and so even the things we thought we knew about ourselves might shift over time too. Rather than jump right to retiring the things we once loved, we can get curious about why they might not hold the same jazz they once did. *Why* isn’t this interesting in the same way? Am I blocked in taking action? Do I need to update my knowledge? Is there a new expression to create of the same core value? Bringing this kind of inquisitiveness to the things we think we know honors the ever-changing nature of life and ourselves, and gives us access to CREATING our self-expression, rather than assuming it will show up on our doorstep.