It's easy to be Cool And Thoughtful when it's easy to be Cool And Thoughtful...
....it's when it's hard that it matters the most. How do you respond when the situation at hand is unfolding exactly NOT how you wanted it to go? First, notice the trap: you are now at risk of lashing out or reacting in a way that's just not how you'd want to be. If you can notice the reaction running, you've already won most of the game because you've distinguished the reaction *as such* rather than your blanket reality. Next, try relating to this moment in a new way: rather than retire back into the reaction or your frustration about it, instead see this instance as a golden opportunity to be Cool And Thoughtful: now is your chance to demonstrate that you CAN catch your reaction and that you are capable of mustering everything you have to imagine how the world looks to the other person. What is there to say that could steer the experience towards a productive solution rather than a gridlock? You might land this, you might not, but this is a lifelong practice, and every single striving step counts.
THE COOL AND THOUGHTFUL TRACK TEAM TEE IS COMING REALLY, REALLY SOON!
THINK OF IT AS YOUR PASSPORT INTO THE WORLD OF COOL AND THOUGHTFUL - PREORDER HERE.
Here is a playlistto help you tap into what matters the most to you and act joyously in alignment with the intentions you have, whether those are connected to a goal you have, a way you want to be in a relationship, or how you'd like to express yourself in the world. Spoiler alert: includes Sángo, Nipsey Hussle, and 90's New York hiphop.
Behold my beloved bike, Lila. I feel like the coolest version of myself when I ride around New York on her, passing my own test which is: if I saw me, would I want to be me? The answer is almost always "yes" when Lila is involved. Interestingly, one of the first posts I wrote back in something like 2011 when Cool And Thoughtful was a fashion blog (OG!) was about “cool girls on bikes” as one of the first incarnations of what it meant to be Cool And Thoughtful well before it even occurred to me that Cool And Thoughtful is an ethos, a lifestyle, a way of being....
AS A MUSICAL BONUS FEATURE, THIS TINY DESK CONCERT WITH JHENÉ AIKO WILL ABSOLUTELY STOP YOU IN YOUR TRACKS AND WILL THE THE ONLY THING YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO FOR ABOUT 4 DAYS STRAIGHT.
Agitation can reset your perspective if you're able to hang in there and trust life for a second: it was one of those evenings where nothing was going right, and the little, inconsequential things felt especially de-railing. Embarrassingly, I was practically in tears by the time I arrived at the third nail salon where, in a stroke of unmerited generosity, Delfina agreed to a 45-minute manicure twenty minutes before the salon closed. We ended up speaking Spanish together the entire time as she gave me these unicorn nails - sincerely my all-time favorite manicure. On the one hand, my agitation felt so shameful in the face of a blessed life, but on the other hand, the goodness that showed up in the face of it was the perfect reminder of how much life and magic exists outside whatever consternation has taken over the hour. Dis-ease is just part of what it is to be human, so maybe in those moments, we can take ourselves a little less seriously and give ourselves (and others) a little more space to make our way though life.
November Moods: wearing boxers under sweatpants, an afternoon latte, messy ponytails, bright gold trees, bandana print, making tie-dye after dark, oversized tees over wide leg trousers, Gucci, finding your people, late night creative flow.
Lastly, just remember that you're a champ:
Mood photo sources: Café Gitane coaster & YSL Parisienne perfume tester via Stationary Objects; "Life is too short to wear boring clothes" and red and camel coats via @lacooletchic; purple dream car via Kitschy Living; Japanese folding fans via ninetail-fox; background art via Atrocity Exhibition; "You're doing great" via this tumblr. I don't own the rights to any of these mood images, so if you know more about their source or ownership than I do, please let me know!